My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
