I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
