dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
