what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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