Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Please don't give away my fajitas
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize