i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
did you just send me my own nude
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
