Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
