you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
