I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
