we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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