Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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