My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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