You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
