The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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