You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
