My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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