dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
