i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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