We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
