Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize