someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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