well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
