so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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