I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
