ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize