She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
