I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
