ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
