As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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