he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
