What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
