so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
