I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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