I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
