this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
