Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
