omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm jealous of your bromance
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
