Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
