Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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