so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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