whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
They have beer where we have blood.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
