Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
