he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
