Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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