maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
