Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
