Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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