I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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