So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You ate ashes out of my bong
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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