The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
