There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
