its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
