She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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