My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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