when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
