If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
NoShamevember. You game?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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