Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
