first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's shark week go big or go home
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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