he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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