I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I am available for nakedness
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
