I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
