so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So squirting runs in the family.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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