Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
