all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
