The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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